Along the roller coaster of life, we are bound to fall in love sometime. It’s our biological predisposition.
Professor Arthur Aron from the University of New York says our primary motivation as human beings is to expand the self and to increase our abilities and our effectiveness mainly through relationships.
Many people experience their first relationships in high school while others find that special someone in university or even later in life.
Nothing can match the feeling when you dive head first into a new relationship, especially if it’s your first. There’s truly no sensation like the thrill falling in love for the first time. Colors seem brighter, flowers smell sweeter, even food tastes better. Ah, the euphoria of love.
After recently getting out of a two-year relationship, I often find myself questioning whether it was the right time in my life for a serious relationship.
Here are five reasons why you need to be extra careful with your first relationship on campus.
1. First relationships rarely last
This is hard to hear, especially if you’re currently dating your first love and you’ve already planned your wedding. It is said that everyone has his or her heart-broken at least once. It takes learning from a first relationship to know what you like and don’t like. You learn, grow and become a stronger person because of it.
When your first relationship has run its course, it seems near impossible to get back to your old life without the person you love in it.
2. Campus will be a constant reminder of your ex
Campus is basically a small concentrated city. Shared memories, friends and experiences will only resurface old feelings and potentially set back the process of moving on. Even if you don’t go to the same school, the time you spent with the other person during your university experience will be hard to forget.
3. You’re likely to see them at a party sometime or another
You and your ex probably shared mutual friends throughout the course of your relationship so it’s likely you’ll see them at a party, or bar at some point in time. This might me the worst case scenario, especially if there’s alcohol involved. And what will you do if you see them with someone else?
Try as hard as you can to avoid your ex, even if it means changing your party plans. Trust me, nothing good has ever come from seeing an ex at a party.
4. The emotional stress might divert your attention from the important things
Breakups are hard – emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Thinking about the situation can cloud your mind and your judgment. It’s often hard to concentrate, ultimately affecting your studies, other activities and other relationships.
The stress of university is already hard enough to handle without having to deal with the stress of a breakup.
5. These are supposed to be the best years of your life
Relationships can be stressful and breakups can be even worse. Isn’t university supposed to be the time of your life? As my final year ticks away, I can’t help but think about what my university years would have been like if I hadn’t devoted so much time to a long-term relationship.
Most of you will have to learn this for yourself, but when thinking about getting into a relationship on campus, or even something else, try to stay logical before making a decision.
As Lawyer Ntikateche Bombay of ‘Kejetia vs Makola’ fame may put it, campus dating ‘isa sad distin.’ Open your eyes!